Milwaukee's Best

Back in the beginning of March, I packed my bags and hopped on Amtrack, heading up to the far north to a moderately populated region of the country called Milwaukee. No, I wasn't sent away to some federal prison with walls made out of orange cheese run by a obese, yet jovial warden named Merle, although don't think I haven't had that recurring dream. It was work (and food) related, although I did get some visitors of the fairer sex during my first weekend up there. Also, Katy and Lily came for a visit.

Lily quite enjoyed the lush life, or as lush as the Hyatt can provide. The long hallways were a source of fascination and a chance to run/wobble as if coyotes were chasing her. She was also a big fan of room service, so long as the order included baked goodies and scrambled eggs. The reason for the seemingly underwhelming journey was the Milwaukee Auto Show, which I was working. Much as Lily was smitten with room service and 600 thread count linens, I became smitten with the General Lee replica at the show and the Chevy Equinox, which I have my eye on as the next HHH pace car, to be used to drive in parades that are thrown in my honor.

Of course, what is a work trip without expense account dinners? Somewhat surprisingly, Milwaukee proved to be a culinary paradise. I tried Ethiopian food for the first time at Alem, and despite being told by my mother growing up, "There are starving kids in Ethiopia" every time I didn't finish my plate, I was still able to put this out of my mind and enjoy the fantastic meal and robust Ethiopian ales. We also met our friends Jenny and Bill out at Karl Ratzsch's German restaurant, where our company was matched only by the sauerbraten (please read that in a hard, angry German accent for effect).

I would be remiss to leave out the amazing margaritas and guac at Charro, or the world's best hungover breakfast at Trocadero. Seriously, if you can only have one beverage the rest of your life, make it one of their Bloody Marys. Even if you don't like Bloody Marys. Even if you hate women named Mary. Or blood. It doesn't matter. I guarantee after you try one of theirs, you'll send me a blank check and write, "All kidding aside, I know we've had our differences, but I love you more than anything" in the memo line.

As for Milwaukee, I don't love it more than anything, but it was certainly an affair to remember.

Red rum! Red rum!

Me and Gwinny could get used to this room service thing. (She's a baby, so she doesn't say 'Gwinny and I' yet. She's learning, give her time.)

Karl, you had me at Sauerbraten and Wiener Schnitzel served with Red Cabbage and Potato Dumpling

Ethiopian food at Alem. You tear apart that spongy stuff (injera) and pick up the stuff that looks like baby food. Don't let the looks fool you. This is what God serves when he has people over.

Haircuts and Hockey Pucks

While it would be foolish to argue that spring is in the air, at least in the literal sense, the cold weather has done nothing to dampen the spirits of the little one known as Lily Bryn. Chaff her pillowy cheeks a bit? Sure, why not? But no amount of freezing temperatures can quiet the sometimes maniacal laughter that this happy baby emits.

In the month since we last updated the internet (thus setting it abuzz with unbridled glee), we have kept busy with a myriad of activities. Friend of the blog Cody and his boy Milo came for a visit in February, and in the process I took off my Blackhawks chastity belt and attended my first game (and theirs). Apparently word got out to the players that I was in attendance, and they became so distraught that they lost their focus and ended up losing 3-2. I'm no longer permitted within 100 yards of the team, or anyone in a hockey jersey for that matter.

We also ate at Peaquod's (obligitory roof raise) and Chen's Chinese, which was immediately dubbed a fan favorite, not only by yours truly, but Milo and Lily as well. Lily loves a good crab rangoon, but who doesn't? Surely her mother, who counts seeing the "Crab Rangoon Fairy" out at a bar as one of her life's defining moments.

Friends Adam and Julie also visited, and in keeping with the sports theme, we ended up courtside to watch the Bulls dismantle the Utah Jazz at the United Center. Let me just say, those $8.50 beers go down a lot easier when you're sitting so close that you can hear shoe squeaks. It also eliminates having to drink until your seats seem like they're good. The only downside being that sitting that close, you realize that Omer Asik could use some better moisturizer. Although I'm told that most people, especially men, wouldn't notice that.

Speaking of grooming, Lily also got her first haircut a few weeks back. The old mop top was starting to get a bit crazy, and quite frankly, she was beginning to resemble MacGruber. She sat frozen in her race car chair, unable to emote anything besides pure, unbridled fear. She sat silent...worrying, wondering, hoping for a better tomorrow. And dammit if she didn't come out looking like a million bucks.

Switching to more devastating news, segues be damned, our car, dear Chandler, was vandalized last weekend. Some hooligan decided it would be a good idea to take out our passenger side rear window with a bat and put a dent in the body in the process. Listen, I'm as excited about baseball season as the next guy, but surely there are better ways to celebrate! This coming a mere days after I had finally decided to give up sleeping in the car with a shotgun.

Of course, with Saturn being a casualty of the GM downsizing a few years back, the glass for the window was apparently more rare than the sight of Anderson Cooper in the embrace of a woman, so the cost was exorbitant and unwieldy. Never the less, Chandler has now recovered from his reconstructive surgery and looks as good as new. And I've resumed sleeping in the car with a shotgun. (It's a fluorescent green toy gun, but I think it still sends a message.)

More posts coming soon, I promise. I'm typing them as we speak (well, after I'm done with this one at least). Tenderloins, Milwaukee, Alinea...if that doesn't spell Sweeps Week, I don't know what does.

Oh yes. On a random side note. Loyal readers will remember that at one point we had dropped the blogspot and picked up the Lord. Well if you remember that (unlikely), you'll also recall that after I let the domain name lapse, some savvy entrepeneur swooped in and grabbed it before I could renew the site name, forcing me to go back to blogspot (who have cooler layouts anyway). Well, ladies and gentlemen, I give you www.handfelthappyhour.com! Because when I think of anything Handfelt related, I immediately think of computer games. (Actually if we're talking about my mom, I do.)

Lily and Dad

Cody and Milo

Cody's beard and Katy's beard

Lily will forever be terrified of Edward Scissorhands.

Toothiness

Lily and Dad romping on Presidents' Day. Kid is starting to get some chompers, the better which to say 'hi' with at the 2:00 mark.

Hopping Into the DeLorean

L-R: Lily, Ben, Katy

It would seem that every time that I try to make a conscious attempt to update this online diary (also known as a "blog"), my best efforts are thwarted by factors including, but not limited to: work, snow, a precocious child, NBC's Thursday night lineup, Bulls games, alcohol, crippling laziness, writer's block, chores, reading The Hunger Games, deeming it to hard to type in a Snuggie, eating soup, work, eating soup in a Snuggie, Facebook, broken vacuums, sleep, pie and of course, work.

So in the vein of one my favorite shows, Lost, which was prone to many a clip show, wherein they'd recap a whole season in one Benjamin Linus-packed hour, let's hop into the Handfelt Time Machine (Lily's Radio Flyer, tricked out to look like a DeLorean) and go way back to December 2010/January 2011 to see what kind of ambiguous mysteries we can unlock. And yeah, I fast forwarded through most of those clip shows too.

Over Christmas Break, we spent a week back in Iowa holed up with Ron and Susan, eating tenderloins (stay tuned for the Tenderloin Challenge), watching movies, napping, having a few beers with old friends and walking the desolate wasteland that is the Waterloo/Cedar Falls malls.* In other words, Classic Iowa!

Lily celebrated her first birthday on December 30th inside the hallowed halls of The OP on University, where she was feted with gifts, kisses, cupcakes and an Elmo smash cake. The pizza (taco pizza up in your grill!) was tremendous as usual, bringing a tear to this pretentious Chicago bastard's eye.

Everyone was all like, "Wow, he's really getting emotional about his daughter's birthday. What a man. " (Slow clap)

Little did they know it was actually tears of joy, mixed with pain, resulting from the glorious flavors of The Grinder, combined with the fact that I rubbed my eye after touching a jalapeno. No, not that kind! Wait, what?

Regardless, it was quite the milestone for Lily, and she celebrated her first foray into the world of sugar by waking up like four times that night. She was just. that. excited.

For New Year's Eve, we headed down to Cedar Rapids (in theaters now!) and hit up the eclectic Gringo's with Cory and Gretchen for some fajitas and margaritas, before taking in a late showing of True Grit, which turned into a True Nap for the girls. You can't stop this party! Go ahead and try, but it will not stop! This is like the Black Eyed Peas at the Superbowl!

Fast forward the clip show to January. Lily takes a sudden and rather shocking liking towards wearing sunglasses and running around the apartment nude, post-bath. Not both at the same time, although that would be really cute. Daddy works a lot and Mommy cries. Just kidding. (Only about the Mommy crying part. I think. Katy?)

Katy makes Bumbleberry and Key Lime pie in consecutive weekends. My waistline expands, as does her idea of creating a pie empire in Southern Wisconsin. We go to a Bulls game and Las Palmas. While there, I wear a hat that Katy got me for Christmas. Is this newsworthy? Doubtful, but there are no deleted scenes in this clip show my friend.

We stay at The Elysian again and I party like it was 2010 at the Elysian...again. Lily becomes adept at climbing in and out of her wagon, briefly leaves Sesame Street for a dalliance with Yo Gabba Gabba (Elmo, meet Brobee), and decides that she prefers sprinting over the stroller when in public.

We survived Snowgasm 2010 thanks to heavy meals from Turkish Cuisine and heavy doses of Arcade Fire, I perfected a bomb-ass pancake recipe, Lily got a new chair and we got a bunch of art framed. Dear Lord, I'm running on fumes here. Don't make me break out another 'Ben in a hat' mention, cause I will.

I'm finished!

We've got a busy next couple of months, which means that I'll either have a lot to blog about or an excuse not to blog about it. The smart money is on the latter, but never count out a guy in a newsie hat to deliver the news on time.

*Sample exchange at College Square Mall:

Me: "Do they even have a Gap here or anything?"
Katy: "No, but look. That store has a bunch of wolf t-shirts if you need one. And who doesn't?"

One of the few times I took the Snuggie off over at Mom's house. After this photograph, rest assured it went back on, post haste.

We were the most dapper people at Gringo's, partly because we were the only people at Gringo's.

Trouble comes in various forms. This form of trouble will give you an open hand slap and then run away shrieking.

Vampire Weekend wrote the song Cousins about these three.

Katy's bumbleberry pie a la mode. Son of a hoo ha, this was good.

Baby Gaga

The Lomo at Las Palmas - Pork tenderloin with bacon and Victoria beer braised brussel sprouts, butternut squash puree and blueberry-habanero compote. Life affirming.

Bulls game. The hat! (Katy bought it for me, so you can't make fun of me)

Lily at One Year

So the little lady is technically thirteen months old now, so a long overdue Lil-meister update is finally here...and something needs to get posted for BeJesus's sake so that this blog doesn't go into "inactive" status and we get booted out of the internets by the Google Gods. We survived the Chicago Snowpocalypse of 2011 and bring you this latest edition of the HHH. Here's the deets on the first 12-13 months of Lily's life:

Standing 29.25 inches tall and weighing in at 21 pounds of pure muscle (plus three teeth and some major cheeks!), we've got Lily Bryn Handfelt...

LIKES

• Eating bananas and Greek yogurt
• Saying the words hi, dada, momma, cat, dog, duck, and uh-oh!
• Bathtub toys
• Running around after a bath (who doesn't, though?)
• Laughing at pretty much anything and everything
  
• Dogs
• Laughing at dogs
• Pointing at dogs
  
• Carmella (especially using the cat's bottom at a pillow)
• This toy (thanks, Milo and Cody!)
• Throwing things in the toilet when her parents forget to put the lid down
• Trippy Yo Gabba Gabba videos
• Jogging around the house with a fistful of socks in both hands

DISLIKES

• Not being able to be held by Mom or Dad in the morning when they are getting ready for work
• Being told to not to touch Carm's cat food and splash in her water bowl
• Putting on mittens

Check out all the pictures from Lily's one year photo shoot here.

Other things we've been up to (and that we may OR may not write about in the coming days)(and including a few inside jokes):

• My birthday dinner at Alinea (OMG, we have true foodie street cred now!)
• Our week long holiday trip to Iowa (we are now longing for the days of the Waltons and Snuggies)
• Lily's birthday party at the O.P. (and cupcakes!)
• Lily's first parent/teacher conference (excels in all areas except "stair climbing" - however, we have no stairs in our home)
• Ben's work's post-holiday party at the Elysian Hotel (with a few spa treatments, plenty of room service, and only a brief trip to The Basement this time)
• My attempt to make a homemade pie every week (mission was discarded after two weeks, when I decided that I didn't need to gain 40 pounds)
• A date night at one of our very favorite restaurants, Las Palmas, and a Bulls basketball game (and I still rooted for the Dunkin Donuts coffee guy in the big screen race, but lost...no free coffee for me)

Anyway, that's what's up in our little world...thanks for joining us!

"The Fam" outside of our building (before the snow-my-god blizzard).

Birthday Bashes Abound! Lily Celebrates Turning One! Dad and Mom Refuse to Acknowledge Their Pending Mortality!

I will have my cake and eat it too!

Ugh, this looks like clothes.

Smiling on command is for the weak.

Top Albums of 2010, Handfelt'd

1. Vampire Weekend: Contra - A creative and wholly unique mixture of melodies and guitars that causes unbridled happiness in a much more compact, affordable package than Prozac. A musical science experiment that's quirky yet accessible, sweet but never cloying.
2. Spoon: Transference - Their most challenging yet rewarding album yet. If "Written In Reverse" doesn't make you want to go tackle a cat, I don't know what will.
3. The Black Keys: Brothers - A step in the right direction after the comparatively disappointing Attack & Release, this take no prisoners opus could have been #1 if they'd trimmed some of the fat off the last half of the album.
4. Mumford & Sons: Sigh No More - Rousing, sing-along pub rock at it's finest and one of the best live shows I saw in 2010. Weather or not they're "authentic" enough is a debate best left to the skinny jean Pitchfork nerds.
5. Arcade Fire: The Suburbs - Another album with loads of brilliance, that like the Black Keys, could have used a better editor. These guys are peerless when it comes to rocking the concept album.
6. The Dead Weather: Sea of Cowards - Dirty rock, loud guitar Album of the Year from one of Jack White's 627 side projects.
7. LCD Soundsystem: This is Happening - Stuff this danceable is usually outside of my comfort zone, but this is essentially dance music for old white guys. I fit the bill perfectly.
8. Kings of Leon: Come Around Sundown - I was justifiably leery after their last album of fairly generic stadium rock, as I've always preferred their Dirty South sound, but they rebounded nicely with this one, which took me months to finally pull the trigger on. Detractors will have their way with the meandering pace and lack of crunchy riffs, but in my mind this is one of the best, chill albums of the year.
9. My Chemical Romance: Danger Days - It would be a mistake to pigeon hole these glam rockers as an emo flash in the pan. Think Ziggy Stardust meets Queen with a little cock rock swagger thrown in for good measure.
10. MGMT: Flash Delirium - There are no real catchy singles like on their debut, but there also aren't any real clunkers either. Solid hipster tuneage.

Honorable Mention:

Butch Walker: I Liked It Better When You Had No Heart - Not his best effort, but Days/Months/Years was certainly one of the better songs of last year, and the album has it's definite Butch-y moments.
Kanye West: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy - He's a real douche, but his genius label is somewhat justified. But he's still a douche.
The Soft Pack: Self Titled - California garage rock with some punch.
Pete Yorn: Self Titled - This guy churns out albums like I churn out hyperbole, and this one is one of his better efforts in some time.
Band of Horses: Infinite Arms - "Laredo" is a great song. The rest of the album struggles at times to live up to that gold standard, but is still a pleasant ride.

Other albums I enjoyed to one extent or another: Buckcherry, All Night Long; Stone Temple Pilots, Self Titled; Broken Social Scene, Forgiveness Record; Gaslight Anthem, American Slang

Biggest disappointments: The New Pornographers, Together; Broken Bells, Self Titled; Gorillaz, Plastic Beach; Hot Chip, One Night Stand