White Wedding, Black Tie

On a blustery Saturday afternoon last weekend, my cousin Chris Paul was married to his blushing bride Sarah at the beautiful and epic St. Vincent DePaul church in the Lincoln Park neighborhood here in Chicago.

My dad's brood all made the trip in from various American cities, including but not limited to: San Diego, West Branch, IA and The Woodlands, TX. Saturday morning started out with a great Southern breakfast courtesy of Big Jones with my brother Cory and his wife Gretchen. Abandoning the low-carb diet I've been rocking like it was 2003, I went for the poached eggs, pulled pork and cheese grits, as did my brother. This earned a enthusiastic fist pump.

After Cory showed me how to tie a half-Windsor (a full Windsor seemed too risky), we made our way down to the church. The ceremony was very grand and the music regal. I think I heard a trumpet in there somewhere. Well played Paul family. Well played.

We had a few hours to kill between the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception, but Katy and Gretchen were hesitant to travel too far in high heels. After a nickel-and-dime tour of my downtown office, we went across the street to Bandera, a restaurant overlooking Michigan Avenue, to kill some time and get an appetizer. Five minutes into our cheese dip and cornbread appetizers, we looked out the window to see thousands of people marching down both lanes of Michigan Avenue. I was flattered that an impromptu parade would break out in my honor, but quickly I realized it was more serious than that. They were marching against the overturning of Prop 8. Thousands of people. This went on for a good 15 minutes. The best sign was probably one that said, 'If you don't like gay marriage, don't marry a gay person'. The irony that we had just come from a decidedly heterosexual wedding was not lost on me.

Heading down the block, we stormed the Intercontinental Hotel, where the wedding reception was being hosted. We met up with my dad and his wife Chris (not the married cousin) and noshed on lamb shanks and sushi rolls in the reception area. My libation of choice was Captain and Diet Coke, a surprisingly agile drink.

We were seated at the Handfelt Table for the dinner, and I was able to make nice and get some good face time in with my Aunt Mary and Uncle John, who instructed me to write a book, which he would then publish. Any suggestions for a subject/title? 'The Handfelt Happy Hour: The Novel'? 'Growing Up Handfelt'? 'War and Peace II: This S*&t Just Got Real'? '

After a great meal of steak and lobster (and to think I forgot my ascot!), the dance floor was greeted rather rudely by the Handfelt Table. Soon an All Handfelt dance circle was formed. Oh the horror! In the history of weddings, it is unlikely there has ever been a more horrifying display of 'white people dancing'. If memory serves me correctly (and at that point, the Captain and Diets were taking hold), Uncle Leo broke out the patented 'sprinkler'. My dad entered the circle with relatively low expectations, and lived up that billing with the white guy, Mick Jagger 'chicken strut'. I decided to go with the tried and true 'string dance' and while I did in fact work it, there was much rust.

Our bellies full of booze and butter-soaked lobster, the four of us bid adieu to our family and thanked our gracious host, Mr. Chris Paul, before hopping in a cab and heading back north to our place. Cory and I had a couple of beers and I proclaimed my undying love for our cat. The hay was then hit.

The next morning Cory, Gretchen, Katy and I went to Piece Pizza (wonderful stuff), soaking up some of those Captain and Cokes with two huge pizza pies. Cory and Gretchen left from there and and Katy and I meandered around our old hood in Wicker Park before heading home to recover.

It was a great weekend, filled with lots of laughs and lots of catching up. I mean, really, any time you can get more than 5 Handfelts dancing at one time, it's a cause to celebrate. Or cause to panic. I can't figure out which.

Katy and Gretchen, their faces still frozen in fear after seeing Bernie dance.

Co-authors of The Handfelt Happy Hour. Carmella not pictured.

Cory and Gretchen. Cory was able to skillfully avoid the dreaded 'constipated' look in this picture. Dodged a bullet there Junior!

Things We Like: TV on the Radio, Dear Science

I still remember the first time that I heard of the band TV on the Radio. I was standing on the Staten Island Ferry with Katy and we had ventured outside to the front of the boat (the poop deck?), where only one other couple stood. Some hipster in tight jeans was raving about this underground band, TV on the Radio. I have no idea why that stuck with me but it did. The thought of combining TV and radio blew my mind.

I went out and bought their first album, Desperate Youth, Bloodthirsty Babes*. It struck me as odd but mildly intriguing. I was alarmed by the lack of power chords and rawk screaming. Time passed, I grew a mustache, and I hardly noticed when their last album, Return to Cookie Mountain came out, until I saw a copy on my co-worker's desk. Hearkening back to my sole trip to the Big Apple and that trip on the ferry, I went ahead and got my hands on my own copy. It was a vast improvement over the first CD. Still weird, but now they were extremely intriguing. Dark, moody and misunderstood. Like me in high school.

Now comes their latest release, Dear Science. While very different from their first two, it remains all kinds of brilliant. Kind of like a cross between Prince (back when he was still good) and Radiohead. Unlike their first two discs, this one is imminently danceable. And let me tell you, here at the Handfelt Happy Hour, nothing pleases us more than the thought of white people dancing to soulful music as if no one was watching.

Sample it here.

*This was my planned title for my memoirs.

Musings on the Silver Screen

Working as a publicist for a ad agency that represents most of the major movie studios, I see my fair share of what's out there, good and bad. I tend to do my damndest to avoid the Pauly Shore comeback vehicles and at stick to seeing the ones I think look like they would be worth my money, were I to have to actually pay to see them. So in short order, here's a quick recap of what's out there that's worth seeing, with trailers linked to each for your viewing pleasure.

Role Models: The funniest movie I've seen all year. Plot-wise, it doesn't try to reinvent the wheel and in fact, most purists would probably use the word 'formulamatic'. But for sheer LOL value, you be hard pressed to do better. Pants pooping funny. Paul Rudd being Paul Rudd, little kids swearing and a brilliant comic subplot involving KISS? Sold! 4 Hands Out of 5


Slumdog Millionaire: Please see this movie. I worked diligently promoting it and it's nothing short of brilliant (all biases aside). This tells the story of a poor boy in India (a 'slumdog') who makes it onto the Indian version of 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' and makes it all the way to the final question, becoming a national hero in the process. The authorities are sure that he is cheating (an uneducated slumdog making it to the finals) and use every means available (including torture) to try to get him to tell them how he knew the answers. His past is shown through a series of flashbacks, each relating to how he knew one of the answers.

This is heady, brilliant, crowd-pleasing stuff. It was directed by Danny Boyle ('Trainspotting', '28 Days Later', 'Sunshine') who is probably the nicest person that I've ever had in town on a press tour. I've met him twice. Once we went shopping for shorts for his 80+ year old dad. Another time I tried to explain to him the rules of baseball over bread pudding.

But I digress. Find this movie. Tell others how much you loved it. The buzz is building and you heard it hear first; Slumdog Millionaire will be up for Best Picture in a couple of months, and pundits will label it the 'little movie that could'. Roger Ebert gave it 4 stars and he knows a little something about movies. You'll have to look for this one, as it's a limited release, adding theatres each week (don't hold your breath if your local theatre is still showing National Treasure 2), but it's worth seeking out. Opened on November 12th in select cities. 4.5 Hands Out of 5

Quantum of Solace: Handfelt. Ben Handfelt. Doesn't have the same ring does it? The latest installment in the re-vamped Bond series picks up right after Casino Royale ends (so you might want to revisit that one first) and doesn't stop to catch it's breath for a minute. If non-stop action is what you crave, you've come to the right place. Boat chase. Plane chase. Car chase. Foot chase. I half expected a unicycle race.

Once the sugar rush wears off though, you realize that it's essentially recycling it's plot from the previous movie, with some convoluted plot about a bad guy/environment activist thrown in for good measure. I'm confused. Not that it matters. Casino Royale this ain't, but it's never boring, has a kick ass theme song and in one money scene, shows you how the martini became Bond's signature drink. Good stuff. In theatres November 14. 3.5 Hands Out of 5

Zach and Miri Make a Porno: If you've seen any Kevin Smith movies (insert 'Overrated' chant) you know what you're getting into here. Crude sex jokes, bad acting and lots of nerd-speak. The material is elevated by the always funny and pudgy Seth Rogen and 'hot girl you can take home to mom', Elizabeth Banks. The high school reunion scene near the beginning is the highlight, with Justin Long playing a gay porn star to comic brilliance (trust me, I know my gay porn stars...huh? Family blog Handfelt! Family blog!). After that it's an amiable if not altogether funny affair with a lot of uneven moments interspersed with a few big laughs. See Role Models in the theatre and wait to rent this one. 3 Hands Out of 5

Rachel Getting Married: A smart drama not to be mistaken for a lightweight chick flick, Rachel Getting Married is like that Sandra Bullock movie 28 Days, the only difference being this is really, really good. Ann Hathaway is all growds up with Oscar on her mind. Great acting and a really unique visual style (especially for this type of movie) make this one of the best 'adult' films I've seen all year. And by 'adult' I don't mean porn. For once. 4 Hands Out of 5

Handfelt Summer Recap Part II

Now that it's mid-November, I suppose it's time for me to finally post the ever exciting second installment of the Handfelt Summer Recap. Ironically, most of these things actually happened at the beginning of summer too, if not spring. If we are one thing around here at the HHH, we are not necessarily timely.

April and May were months of transition for me. First, I started my new job at the University of Illinois at Chicago. I help administer continuing education programs for working professionals. This includes everything from overseeing budgets, marketing programs and recruiting students, handling enrollment management issues, and basically doing a lot of planning of logistical stuff. Many of of the students that come through our office are teachers working on getting various certificates and endorsements, so it is very rewarding to help them grow and enrich the community.

In addition to the new job, in May, Ben and I packed up the homestead moved to a new apartment. Now, if anyone has not been to our old place, you should know that it was literally about the size of a shoebox. It was a "two bedroom" but I'd say that's only accurate if you looking for a two bedroom apartment that's appropriate for hobbits. Seriously. This new place is huge in comparison and we have plenty of room to spread out. We were also able to graduate from hand-me-down furniture left over from our college days to some new stuff. Ben was also thrilled that he has a patio for his brand new grill, courtesy of Ron. (Thank you, sir!) Ben is well on his way to becoming a steak guru and continues to grill out as the temperatures rapidly decline. He keeps me well fed.

A picture of the beach, just a few blocks from our apartment.

Also in May (conveniently, the weekend after we moved...oops, sorry, Ben!) my girl friends Jami and Jen and I were able to coordinate our schedules, which rarely happens anymore, and have our annual Girls' Weekend Trip to Galena, Illinois. We spa'd ourselves out with massages and mani/pedis at the Eagle Ridge Resort, then headed to the cute downtown area to shop and eat dinner at Fried Green Tomatoes. Then it was back to the resort where we stayed up late catching up on our gossip and reminiscing about the ol' days. It's a good thing our husbands weren't there, or they would have been driven crazy by our laughter and the retelling of stories they've all heard a thousand times. It was a great night with awesome friends.

Katy, Jen, and Jami...and yeah, Jen made us do this cheesy pose.

Over Labor Day weekend my parents came to visit and we had a nice time showing them around our new neighborhood. We also took my dad, who is a Sox fan, to a Cubs game (for the 2nd year in a row)...I suspect he's beginning to like it. I promised I wouldn't post any pictures of him in HIS BRAND NEW CHICAGO CUBS T-SHIRT, but I here is a cute one of my guys from the game. Sorry, Dad, I couldn't resist!

Dad's incriminating evidence. Actually, his shirt just says "Wrigleyville" after all...that doesn't mean anything, right?!?

My cute mom and I. We hardly watched the game. We just chatted away all nine innings.

Self Portrait

*Courtesy of Married To the Sea.

Lots of Treats, A Disappointing Number of Tricks

Katy: Over Halloween weekend, we visited Ben's brother, Cory, and his family in Cedar Rapids. We're lucky they don't mind (or at least don't let on that they mind), letting us crash in their basement whenever we need a niece and nephew "fix".

Halloween night we went out trick-or-treating with our little Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Griffin and Sienna. There were so many kids out and all the houses were decorated to the nines with lights and huge blow-up figures (not dolls). One even had spooky actors! Since when did Halloween become such a fanatical event? Not to mention the warm temps - the weather was great - don't you remember wearing winter coats over your costumes with the plastic masks from the '80's? I specifically remember wearing snow boots with my Big Bird costume back in kindergarten.

Saturday morning we woke up to Griffin jumping on our bed and giggling like a maniac. He has the best giggles! After playing "tent" under the blankets, we all got ready and Cory and Gretchen took us on a tour of the flood ravaged parts of Cedar Rapids. It was devastating to see how destroyed entire neighborhoods and the downtown area still were. I was amazed to see trash and debris still sitting on the curb to be hauled away, four months after the flood. It is definitely a reminder to count our blessings and think of those that were affected.

After some lunch, a nap for this old lady, and some "pre-game" drinks courtesy of our bartender Cory, a babysitter came over to take charge of the kiddos for the evening. We adults went out to a super Italian restaurant called Vino's and then went back to their place and played Mommy and Daddy drinking games.

Ben: I'll take it from here my friends. Let me narrate via pictures, frozen in time.

Ben: They're really onto something in Cedar Rapids. All the adults just sit in the driveway, drinking beer around these trendy little portable campfires. You don't even have to knock on the door. That's the kind of Midwest hospitality that I can get behind. This picture is of some dude that I murdered while we were trick or treating. That really cast a pall on the night.

Ben: Griffin went as Mickey Mouse. I went without a costume. That is to say, I went as a douchebag.

Ben: Everybody likes to think their kids are the cutest, but this picture of Sienna is pretty f'n hard to argue with.

Ben: Vino's was really good. Best side salads ever and the wine that Gretchen picked out for me was so good that I stood up and head-butted out waiter. I had the fish.

Ben: Everybody always asks us when we're gonna have kids. Actually, these are our kids. We just let Cory and Gretchen "borrow" them. I think it has something to do with Cory getting a greencard or something.

.

History, Chicago Style

God bless America.