Sunday, January 4, 2009

Celebrating With Our German Ancestors, Who Could Most Likely Hold Their Liquor Better Than I

After years of spending New Years Eve going to movies or drunkenly mocking Carson Daly/Ryan Seacrest from our couch, this was the year that we decided to actually go out and take advantage of living in the third largest metropolis in the US. Alas, it didn't take long for us to remember that we don't a very deep pool of available friends to choose from when it comes to painting the town red (yes, I really am that unlikable). On what can only be called a whim, Katy posted something on our friend Jenny's Facebook page about 3 days before New Years, asking her what her and her boyfriend, Bill, were doing and if they'd like to come down to Chicago (from Milwaukee) to ring in the International Year of Natural Fibres (2009). In what turned out to be one of the biggest surprises of 2008, they agreed to come down and go out with us. Dare I say, they even seemed excited, though I've never been good at detecting sarcasm.

Katy found a great place for us to go by way of the newspaper; the German Cultural Center, also called Dank Haus. What allured us to this particular place was that admission was only $4.99. What usually makes New Year's Eve so overrated is having to pay $50-$100 just to get in to one of these parties. Screw that noise. Those exhorberant cover charges create too much pressure. Nobody needs that in this flailing economy.

Jenny and Bill got here around 6:30pm, christening our new apartment with a gift of a 40 oz bottle of Mickey's Malt Liquor. The nectar of the gods. To be fair, they also brought us a nice bottle of champagne, but we all know which one will be the first to go. I broke out our 'good wine' and my Hugh Hefner blazer and we had a couple of glasses before heading out to the nearby sushi joint, Tanoshii, which also happens to be BYOB. (Underrated: BYOB places. You don't realize how much liquor can inflate a bill until you go to a BYOB place.)

The sushi rolls were all pretty fantastic, the Stella was flowing like Mickey's Malt Liquor, and soon enough the owner, Sushi Mike, came over to our table with a New Year's gift. A giant pitcher of sake, with chopped up ginseng root floating around in it. He even brought a ginseng root with him and gave us some each to try. In what proved to be my last awkward moment of 2008, he put the ginseng root in every one's mouth for them, yet when it got to me and I expected him to do the same (thus, reaching out my mouth rather pervertedly), he recoiled in horror. This caused him to spill a glass of the sake and walk away, shamed. We didn't see Sushi Mike after that.

We were feeling pretty good at this point, so we headed off to Dank Haus. Beers were served in large steins. I think they were $10, but they were so big and so German that I don't think any of us got through our beers. There was a large crowd of people and a band that rocked our socks off, The Polkaholics. I don't know what polka really sounds like (though I imagine it's rather annoying and normally involves an accordian), but these guys were quite good. Just a 3 piece band (guitar, bass, drums) that played cover songs with a polka-ish twist I suppose. I got them to play a KISS song, which of course got me way too excited.

We soon reached the point in the night where everyone thinks that it would be a good idea to do 'shots'. Note: There is never a good time for shots, especially once you crack 30 years old. Katy brought some over that she said the bartender told her, 'were like Jagermeister but better', but upon further review (aka, drinking them) they were clearly just Jager. Bill bought some that involved Kahlua and tasted a little better, but were clearly not required.


Katy and Jenny made friends with some long-haired women while I found us some Polkaholics bumper stickers to put on our clothes. The crowd was very eclectic and unpretentious, which is always a good thing. The lack of douchebaggery in correlation to how much fun you have can not be under-estimated. All the while, we had these little Renee Zellweger bookmarks that I had for work (don't ask) that we would get people to pose with throughout the night. Much to our surprise, Renee was a huge hit. So to recap: Underrated - BYOB, low levels of douchbaggery, Renee Zellweger bookmarks, Mickey's malt liquor. Overrated - ginseng, Renee Zellweger's actual career.

We rang in the New Year singing Auld Lang (polka version of course) under the falling balloons with a bottle of champagne that I had bartered for and some soft German pretzels that Bill may have secured through mob ties. At around 2am we finally stumbled back to the Handfelt abode, our bellies full of yeast, ginseng root and a dangerous combination of liquors, while our wallets remained surprisingly full. A great night indeed.

I would of course be remiss if I were to leave out the fact that the four of us paid dearly for our revelry the next morning. At 31 years of age my body is breaking down like an old piece of meat and it didn't help that none of us paid heed to those 'Drink Responsibly' commercials. Despite the repercussions, we all decided that it was well worth it, as the memories will last much longer than the hangovers did. Actually, the hangovers were pretty bad, so I may have misspoke there, but I digress.

Happy New Years to everyone and here's to a great 2009. (Taking a swig of Mickey's and a bite of ginseng root.)

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