"Time is the only critic without ambition." - John Steinbeck*
Lately here at HHH there has been an ominous fourth 'H' serving as the elephant in the room...namely, 'H is for hiatus'. Said break was not planned, nor was it accounted for; instead it just kind of happened due to the perfect storm of contributing factors: Katy going off maternity leave, work getting busier for me, and of course, the general time crunch and overall sense of lethargic malaise that I imagine all new parents experience. That said, it's time to step into the Handfelt Time Machine and take a trip back to mid-February and retrace our Swayze-esque steps. (Insert Wayne's World dream sequence.) Clearly, the question that everyone wants to know the answer to is, "What happened to your beard?" Oh wait...I'm being told in my earpiece that no, people actually really only want to know about Lily and that my beard was about as hip (yet comfortable) as a Snuggie. A bit harsh, but fair.
Well, if you must know, the childhood of Lily Bryn Handfelt is progressing quite nicely. As I type this, she sits at a day over 5 months old, and seems to be changing (quite rapidly) with every passing day. Physically, she is growing like a female Manute Bol. Her hair, once barren on the top, has started to fill in like my beard at the 3 week mark. A bit peach-fuzzy, but enough for it to be 'sticky-uppy' in the morning and subject to unfair mocking unless combed properly. Her cheeks still maintain an effortless chubbiness, like a young Chip from Chip and Dale.
She's an extremely, almost comically happy baby ("Where is your sense of smug dread?"); her smiles and belly laughs have increased ten fold over the past month or so, and she loves to kick her feet and practice her Kung Fu grip on anything within her grasp. She's the rockstar/diva of her daycare...the only baby girl amongst of sea of weeping testosterone. It's not an unfamiliar sight for us to go pick up the young child, only to see the rest of the kids (6-8 give or take on any given day) huddled around Lily singing to her and quite honestly, courting her. There are a couple of other girls there that are a little bit older than Lily Bean (or, as seems to be the most popular nickname, 'Toonces'), but even Miss Linnette, her caretaker, has admitted that Lily runs the show there.
At a mere 5 months she's already more social and popular than either of her parents ever were. Really though, there are no complaints here. Whereas most babies seem to serve as birth control for all of the non-parents out there, if everyone could hang around Lily for but a day, Trojan stock would plummet and the US birthrate would rival that of China. I apologize if that comes off as a bit cocksure (what a word!), but you'll have to excuse me, as The Hammer is clearly my crowning achievement...and well, if you've spent but a few minutes with her, you'll know what I'm talking about.
Other than the continued growth of our first born child, things around the Handfelt Hacienda have been relatively quiet and unassuming. Work has picked up for the both of us. Katy's promotion at UIC brought upon an added workload, but despite her modesty, she's handled it all with the panache and skill of a baller (is that still a word people use? Doubtful). In regards to me, the Chicago PR Mob Boss, things have picked up of late as well; that said, I know that really, the question everyone wants to know is "what famous people have you met?"
To that end, name drop alert! John C. Reilly, Common and Jackie Chan have all graced my presence, all of them stand up gents. I'll spare you the mundane details of the rest of my desk bound lifestyle and instead let you envision me and Jackie Chan locking arms and feeding each other sushi while laughing gayly (that is, in a joyous manner). All of that aside, being a mere 5 feet away from Dave Grohl in a hotel lobby and meeting a random sports rep who works for the company who represents my American Idol, Kurt Warner, were probably as close as I've come to geeking out in my gig. In the case of the latter, I was able to score a sweet 8x10" autographed photo, so my geekiness wasn't all for naught. Now if I could just get the judge to revoke that pesky restraining order.
So other than the continued growth of our first born child and a quick and dirty overview of our jobs, what else has 2010 wrought? These type of queries are probably best addressed bullet point style.
- On April 1st, 2010 my beard died. It's funeral was sparsely attended and it's passing was met with a vague indifference. Dale Jr., as he was known to his friends, was a bit of a pretentious a-hole, and according to local mustaches, "he had it coming". On his deathbed, Dale Jr. could be seen shaking his hairy fist, yelling "You haven't seen, nor felt, the last of me!" It remains to be seen if Dale Jr. will make an ill fated comeback (think Jordan with the Wizards) or ride off into the sunset on a ascot adorned beard trimmer.
- My brother and I attended the Spoon concert at the Aragon. This was the day that my beard died and the Fu Manchu made a life cameo for a day. We also at ate Kuma's Korner beforehand and exchanged knowing glances.
- Mother finally threw a baby shower back in Loo Town, attended by a gaggle of relatives and Lily, who donned a floppy hat and wry smile. Gifts were exchanged, appetizers were passed, knowing glances were yet again exchanged.
- Food, a HHH stapl,e has taken a bit of a backseat to the child, although Katy and I have still managed to squeeze in few good meals (Lily is surprisingly well behaved at public dining spots), and have upped our game when it comes to making good meals at home...time provided of course. Look for a 'what we've ate' post later in the week.
- Visits. Whether it's us loading up the Astra for Iowa or breaking out the fine china (see: not paper plates) for guests, we've hosted and been hosted a plethora of times since Lily busted down our door. Great grandmothers, uncles, aunts, regular grandparents, vagabonds, and ne'er do wells have all graced our presence at one point or another. It's been one giant receiving line and we've enjoyed (almost) every minute of it.
- Thunderfist II: Gone Fistin'. The sequel to the highly rated (though critically mixed) original Thunderfist took place the second week in May, with numerous 30-somethings descending upon Wrigleyville and drinking way too much for their age bracket and regretting it later. Good times were had, 5Ks were run over in a hungover haze, insults were traded and taquerias were stormed out of. Classic Thunderfist shenanigans.
- HHH Hotcake Showdown? Out for lunch (pancakes?). Coming soon. Check back later. Oh, it's there, don't you worry your carb-loading little heart. We've got a homemade recipe that will make you rethink your life and possibly enter into a covenant, post haste.
*I have no idea what that really means, but it seemed applicable to this post, given the long layoff. If not, it still sounds fairly smart, no?
These paparazzi follow Lily wherever she goes. Kind of hard to go off, Charlie Sheen style, since they're all female. "Lily, Lily, Lily, who is your stylist?" "Target."
Ted and I at Thunderfist. Specifically, Gingerman, the unofficial gathering point. Actually, at this point, I think it's the official gathering point, like it or not. Kind of like a common law marriage.
Lord willing, the last time you'll see our daughter topless.
Mommy & Daddy + Martini = Me. Not to far off, to tell the truth. In that regard; martinis? Best thing ever!
Date Night! This is one of the last times the beard was seen in public. If you see him, please know that he's armed (with handsomeness) and dangerous (with whisker rubs).
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